If we don’t grieve well or put our grief on hold it can lead to more complicated grief and even Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
So, cry, scream, shout get angry and release all those emotions that you are experiencing. Spend time alone, kick, punch just release the pain – let go of it.
If we hold onto the pain, it becomes locked inside us and our personality can change – we become withdrawn, bitter, we hate more, our thoughts are negative, our hygiene goes out the window – we have no selfcare – we self loathe and portray this onto others. In return they don’t want to spend time in our company. Yes, we may prefer not to socialise and couldn’t care less about how we make others feel as we are trapped in our own pain cycle. This is not who we truly are.
Here’s a little exercise on how to deal with your pain from pet grief.
When you are feeling particularly angry (for example) hold it in the palm of your hand. Hold your hand out - palm facing up and place that feeling of anger directly onto your palm.
Now ask yourself what does this anger feels like – describe it.
Has it got a texture – describe it?
Has it got a colour – what colour is it?
Has this anger got a message for you-what is this anger telling you?
Focus on holding this feeling of anger in the palm of your hand – really concentrate on it – do not think of anything else except this anger.
Now, ask yourself another question – Does this feeling of anger hold any value?
You will find that after doing this your strong emotion such as anger will ease, and you will feel more able to start tasks and cope with day-to-day challenges.
Please do let me know how you get on with this exercise.
The Author Kirstey Lee is a professional Pet Bereavement Support Counsellor and a Licentiate of the Society of Bereavement Practitioners, which acknowledges existing expertise, training, and achievements. Kirstey lives in Cardiff, sunny Wales in the UK with her partner Carl and their two dogs a Staffordshire Bull Terrier and a Jack Russel Terrier - Shilo and Monty. It’s the JRT (Monty) that wears the trousers; he is so cheeky and always makes her smile with all his antics. Shilo, on the other hand is quieter, more laid back and a sensitive soul, who likes his own space.
If you are struggling please reach out. Kirstey’s counselling sessions can be carried out via Zoom, email, phone calls or texts. You can get in touch with her below: -
Or take a look at her new book
Pet Bereavement Matters – Understanding Pet Loss
Which can be purchased via Amazon kindle or paperback or free on kindle unlimited.